Coffee House: Starbucks, Stonegate York
Drink: Latte
Cake: Blueberry Muffin
Now. The Present.
There's a thing that some people say about how you should be living for now/in the moment. The implication (actually more of an accusation) being that you aren't doing this and therefore you're missing out, whereas they are and are living life as it should be lived.
So what is 'now' and is it such a great thing to focus on?
Well I'm not convinced that 'now' exists at all. It's really only an infinitely small amount of time between the past and the future. We create the past with every passing moment and move into the future similarly. What people really mean of course is that you shouldn't be focusing on stuff from a while back and/or worries and preoccupations that you might have. And that you're failing to do stuff now because it's never the right moment, that would be some time in the future.
OK, so let's take a look at that thought. What it really says, I think, is that you should act as if there is no past and potentially no future and therefore you can and should do whatever you want to live this moment to the full. The Mayfly approach.
Well there was a time when I liked to think that this was the way to live. I have been accused of using the phrase "the time is now, man" when asked what the time was. I was about twenty at the time and still deny that I actually used those words. But I probably half-believed it anyway. I certainly kept moving on in my early years of adulthood, determined to have a life and not be stuck with the mundane/boring ones that appeared to be everyone else's. Living that way, essentially refusing to take any responsibility to anything or anyone beyond yourself, certainly helps in moving forward to new things but can often lead to a great deal of unhappiness with those you touch along the way.
I still try not to get too bogged down with the rest of the world. I can no doubt come across as distant when meeting new people and the other side of the coin is that I don't attract m/any new friends. It's a bit like songwriting though. There's so many brilliant songs already out there, why try to write one yourself (in spite of this I have tried to do this recently) With friends, if you have one or two good ones, you're lucky and probably don't need m/any more.
So, from the grand perspective of sixty+, life does look a little different from life as a twenty-something. The past isn't something to be dismissed. Neither is it something to be wallowed in. It's there and its what makes you, you. All of the good and bad times along the way lead up to where you are at this moment and you are a product of it. There's the James Stewart/Wonderful Life tale which teaches us to be careful what you wish for. In that case looking backwards and wanting to change the past.
And the future. Be careful what you wish for. Well, yes and no. Or maybe just no. I reckon you should dream about new/different stuff ahead. Definitely. It's a bit sad when you meet people who broadly just want things to remain the same.
A lot of people I know are now moving into being grandparents and are now looking after their grandkids (I thought that was the job of parents) Seems like they're trying to extend (and/or do a Wonderful Life thing and change) the time when they're raising their kids. Nothing wrong with that in itself of course but the danger is that their world becomes smaller and smaller as they focus on other people's children.
But what do I know. I haven't any grandkids and sincerely hope that I don't have any. At least not for another ten years or so. Living in the moment for me means living like nothing has changed from when you were twenty-something and all things are still possible. But taking a little time to ensure that you don't mess up other people's lives as you do move forward.
