Coffee House: Our House, York
Drink: Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Costa Rican Arabica Instant Coffee
Cake: Nuffin :-(
Big Ideas, Images & Distorted Facts (line from Idiot Wind by Bob Dylan)
It must be something connected with feeling your days are coming to an end that makes people start to dig into their family history (or a desperate need to feel interesting by proxy maybe) My dad spent ages going back generations on the male side of the family (not a trivial task with a name like Smith) and one of my elder brothers has done it for my mother's side.
I have zero interest in it all. I have memories of both of my parents and vague ones of their's and that's good enough for me. Investigating beyond your own personal contact with people is fine and no doubt interesting if that's your thing but the relationship becomes an academic one where it is essentially a list of facts, lots of dates and who married who, begat who etc. It's nigh on impossible to get a true sense of who these people are.They are defined by what they did for a living, where they lived, went to school, married and ultimately died.
So forget about the past, how do we define people who we come in contact with today? Again the starting point is usually the 'facts' - all of the above plus, because it's easier to find out stuff about people still living, especially in a Facebook age, then it's also about who their friends are, what music they like, what tv they watch, their fixation of cat/dog videos etc. When you get to meet people, as opposed to the virtual/surreal world of social media, then other stuff comes into play. In particular the way the person looks.
Yesterday we spent the day having our picture taken by a very talented photographer, her very talented assistant and equally very talented makeup artist. So Ann magically grew hair and my eyes became bluer (a side effect being my inability to avoid blinking whenever the camera shutter clicked) The idea was to create a set of pics for the band website, posters etc. We definitely will have accomplished that and we're really looking forward to the finished photographs. What the day sparked though was a thought about image. We'll end up with a number of shots that show Ann & I dressed in various clothes, in various locations. That will say something in itself and when you add the facial expressions and body language then it will lead to more impressions of the two people. But will it tell you who we are? In this case we're not trying to display an 'accurate' picture of who we are, if such a thing was possible, we of course are trying to evoke something about the duo and the music we play.
We all spend time, to a greater or lesser extent, clothing ourselves in a particular way/style with whatever accessories and hairstyle. And that changes over time, maybe several times a day. We do it, at least in part I'd say. to make ourselves feel at ease with the situation we are about to encounter. Other people we meet then get an impression of us, even if they know us very well, about who we are. I'm purposely not covering verbal communication in this blog. As I said in a Facebook posting recently, I reckon it's rather overrated anyway.
So what impression do people get when they meet someone else? They see the clothes etc, they look at the face and body and make a, usually subconscious, value judgment on how 'pretty/good looking' they are and another impression about how the other person is feeling by the look in their eyes and the way they hold themselves. All of these things may or may not give a good sense of the person themselves.
So back to the genealogical manhunts, what remains of a person when they're gone? A bunch of facts of course about the when and where but these are not necessarily the real facts. Over time they become misread, misplaced if not blatantly twisted. Then there's the pics. Taken on particular occasions with the people trying to display themselves in a particular light under circumstances that may distort their 'at home' self. Then there'll be records of their achievements, especially if they had a few bob and were able to do big stuff.
But is all of this worth anything in the big scheme of things? I think it's highly likely when I pop my clogs that I won't be leaving much. if any. money. I have had money now in then in my life and successfully got rid of it a lot faster than it came (in the words of Richard Manuel "I just want to break even") Big stuff, I never had the urge to make a big impact on the world. Those who have/had a big idea and the opportunity to do something about it have. by and large. caused most of the man made problems in this world I reckon.
What I will leave behind is a son who has, in spite of/because of my lack of parental input, grown up to be a truly lovely guy. He'll have an impression of me that will last a little while. And then it's what I/you leave as a memory with the other people who you have come in contact with. That'll be our legacy, good or bad, for as long as they last. Probably best to try and make them good ones then I reckon.
(postscript - there's the written word of course but who believes in that stuff :-) )
